This particular subject has always be a hard one for me: death. It seems that life is fleeting. In just a moment, it could be gone. And all you did, all you were, no longer matters. You are nothing but a memory.
This little piece of reality was something i could not seem to grasp for the longest time. I didn't understand how it could be over. With no explanation what so ever. I lost a total of around 30 people that were close to me from the time i was 15 to 20. And with each death, a little part of me was lost with them. That's a lot of pieces to find. And as I've explained before, i wasn't really living. I was surviving just enough so that i could be with them again.
then i started to wonder...why? Not the "why" that people usually ask after an unexpected death. THE "why". Why are we here? Is it the work of some all powerful being? or is it something less extravagant, yet more so at the same time.
As of right now, i lean towards the latter. Life is beautiful. But at the same time, it is fleeting. You never know which breath will be your last. you never know what the last thing you say to someone will be. And because of my lack of religion, those last words are the definite last. you only get one shot at a good bye.
The last thing i said to Vanessa was "ugh i hate my life." Jeff was "whatever dude." To Sarah, a typed "rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma ro-ma-ma, gaga-oo-lala, want your bad romance!"
and to mike, "Sorry, cant make it."
These are not how i want to remember the people i love. But i cannot change it. So i just have to let go. Those people knew how much i loved them. They didn't need some epic speech to express that. And even though i do not believe in an after life in some magic sky place... i do believe they're still with me. Love like that never dies. So your last words to someone, or even your lack of last words, dont really matter.
T.S. Eliot said so much in just a few words. "this is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper." There is no epic ending, like they make it out to be in movies and books. Life isn't like that. Its there...and then it isn't. Like blowing out a candle.
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -Benjamin Franklin
Our country is falling apart right in front of our eyes... One civil liberty at a time. I hope you weren't too attached to the bill of rights. because our government clearly isn't.
My name is Tiffani.
With Tornado and SAQ