[On a note to my Blog readers, i wrote what is seen below out of a fit of depression, sorrow, and self pity. A buddy of mine, halfway thru this blog, talked me out of depression by a simple thought. "What do you do with sinking ships?" well if your on a ship, and its sinking you, "Get the fuck off of it". If you are "sinking" into depression over someone as stupic as my Ex, get the fuck off the ship. None the less, i will post what i have of this blog, with a quick written ending to cap my thought. If you was into this story and would like to know more, im sure i wouldnt have a problem telling you the rest in better written format.]
Love is a Burning Feeling.
Its warm, soothing, comforting, and said to be the most powerful emotion. It makes people do the craziest things they normaly hadn't the courage to do before. Once, I had my own living love story. The kind you only see in books, in fact i couldn't of wrote out this story better myself. Even with all the hindsight, as crazy as it sounds, i wouldn't change a thing. I found love in a friend, or rather it found me, and we both held onto each other like nothing else mattered, and to be honest, nothing did. It got to point that her father forbade me to ever see her again. We worked together so it was difficult to follow his wishes. It also became difficult for us and out forbidden love that we longed to touch each other every quiet moment in the back room, but knew if we gave ourselves an inch, we would just stare and wish for that mile. Her father was in the process of ruining his own life during all of this, for he was planning to run away with another woman and leave his family. So it didnt matter what havoc he reeked, he was going to be gone soon. Love being as powerful as it was, pushed her and I together closer than anything I felt before. We started seeing each other after work, we would drive to my house and stand in the doorways for hours, or sit in her car and talk about life. It was here we had our first, peck i guess you could call it, it wasnt a kiss, more of a childish lock of lips than a kiss. Our hearts filled with wonderment as we stared at eachother after our lip connection. The song that was playing on the radio became "our" song (as every good love story should have) and it was Aerosmith's "Don't Want to Miss A Thing". A fitting song for our situation, then we continued to talk, poke fun and laugh. This went on for quite awile, untill we found out her father had been sending friends to spy on her and her car to make sure we wasn't spending time together. She became very scared of her father, and also very parinoid of every move she made. We started talking on the phone instead of texting, so that if she had forgot to erase messages, her father wouldn't find them. One night that came to bite us back for her family had a minute plan for their phones, and we had been talking for quite alot of "minutes". All of this was no knowlege of mine, I was on a unlimited plan, and there was a night when she fell asleep on the phone, and i just listened for a while. You can call me creepy all you want, I was in love, and longed to have her heart beating next to mine. Chest to Chest, one being. As I listened to her slumber, I nodded off as well. When I woke the next morning both phones was still connected, I thought nothing of it, and hung up. It wasn't untill her father got the bill he realised what was going on, and he personally got on the phone with me, and told me, "If you get near my daughter again, if you call her, text her, or even touch her, I will call the police and have your sorry ass thrown in jail". Now, at the time, he thought I was 24, when in reality i was 18, I had just graduated High School. His daughter tho was 16, about to be 17. So, i went to work, to find my new love teary and red eyed. She told me she wouldn't be working there long because her father was making her quit. That night i caught a ride home from a friend, and when i got to my room I got a phone call from her. I answered, and she told me she wanted to leave something on my Voicemail, and not to answer when she called back. What she had to say she couldn't say to me personally, and so she wanted to talk to my voicemail. I agreed, hung up, and let her call back. As the phone rung my mind begin to fill with fear, my heart grew heavy. As the ring ended, I waited, almost like a horse in a race gate, for the sound of my voicemail ring. Then it rang. My fingers went cold and the air stood still. I called my voicemail box, and in the message I could hear her fighting back tears...... and she sang. "I don't wanna close my eyes, i don't wanna fall asleep cuz i miss you baby, and i dont want to miss a thing, cuz even when i dream of you, the sweetist dreams will never do i still miss you baby... and i dont want... to miss a thing....................I Love you" Then she ended the message. I must have replayed that message as many times as there was tears sinking into my pillow. When the phone died and i hadnt the strength to stand up, I got into my pocket and Listend to that song on my MP3 player on repeat for the next 6 hours. When I went to work the next day, she wasn't there, I didn't hear from her for quite awlile. It was almost a gift from God when her father was found out about his plans to run away, and his family kicked him to the curb. Hence lifting the "daughter ban" and bringing me and her together again.
[As stated above, i will write a quick ending to cap the idea i was going for]
Well, we did get back together, as my mom moved out of state i stayed to be with her, we faired quite well for awhile. We ended up being each others
firsts on quite a number of things, including sex. On November 5th I asked her to marry me. It wasnt a sole decition mind you, i was kinda pushed into the situation. she was getting bitchy that we knew we was getting married, but didnt have a ring to show off to family and friends. after our engagment, we got an appartment together, and months later i have discovered two things, 1) that she nolonger wanted to be with me, 2) that she was texting other men on a moble website getting and sending naked photos. I was crushed and heartbroken. so I ended the engagement, the relationship and ultamently the friendship. she returned to get her things in a fit of rage and destroyed the appartment. haha i like to tell in my stand up bit what she took when she went with her, because its rather funny. She took the Silverware, the shower curtain.... and the toilet seat. haha. She left, and then came back to claim partnerd dominion over the appartment, so I left. That is what landed me in the awesome state of Illinois *gag*. whilst I was up in the Land o Lincolin, my stuff sit vunerable in a shed down south. Easily broken into and just as easily destroyed and broken, I owned nothing anymore. I had lost my life in Texas, my Love, and my possetions. For two years my soul, my mental state, and my physical state was trashed. I was a mess.
Love is a Burning Feeling.
Its hot, sournful, and leaves a remarkable, permanate scar. It has been proven to me to be the most powerful emotion. It makes people do the craziest things they normaly hadn't the courage to do before. Once, I had my own living love story... Once....
Love is a Burning Feeling.
Its warm, soothing, comforting, and said to be the most powerful emotion. It makes people do the craziest things they normaly hadn't the courage to do before. Once, I had my own living love story. The kind you only see in books, in fact i couldn't of wrote out this story better myself. Even with all the hindsight, as crazy as it sounds, i wouldn't change a thing. I found love in a friend, or rather it found me, and we both held onto each other like nothing else mattered, and to be honest, nothing did. It got to point that her father forbade me to ever see her again. We worked together so it was difficult to follow his wishes. It also became difficult for us and out forbidden love that we longed to touch each other every quiet moment in the back room, but knew if we gave ourselves an inch, we would just stare and wish for that mile. Her father was in the process of ruining his own life during all of this, for he was planning to run away with another woman and leave his family. So it didnt matter what havoc he reeked, he was going to be gone soon. Love being as powerful as it was, pushed her and I together closer than anything I felt before. We started seeing each other after work, we would drive to my house and stand in the doorways for hours, or sit in her car and talk about life. It was here we had our first, peck i guess you could call it, it wasnt a kiss, more of a childish lock of lips than a kiss. Our hearts filled with wonderment as we stared at eachother after our lip connection. The song that was playing on the radio became "our" song (as every good love story should have) and it was Aerosmith's "Don't Want to Miss A Thing". A fitting song for our situation, then we continued to talk, poke fun and laugh. This went on for quite awile, untill we found out her father had been sending friends to spy on her and her car to make sure we wasn't spending time together. She became very scared of her father, and also very parinoid of every move she made. We started talking on the phone instead of texting, so that if she had forgot to erase messages, her father wouldn't find them. One night that came to bite us back for her family had a minute plan for their phones, and we had been talking for quite alot of "minutes". All of this was no knowlege of mine, I was on a unlimited plan, and there was a night when she fell asleep on the phone, and i just listened for a while. You can call me creepy all you want, I was in love, and longed to have her heart beating next to mine. Chest to Chest, one being. As I listened to her slumber, I nodded off as well. When I woke the next morning both phones was still connected, I thought nothing of it, and hung up. It wasn't untill her father got the bill he realised what was going on, and he personally got on the phone with me, and told me, "If you get near my daughter again, if you call her, text her, or even touch her, I will call the police and have your sorry ass thrown in jail". Now, at the time, he thought I was 24, when in reality i was 18, I had just graduated High School. His daughter tho was 16, about to be 17. So, i went to work, to find my new love teary and red eyed. She told me she wouldn't be working there long because her father was making her quit. That night i caught a ride home from a friend, and when i got to my room I got a phone call from her. I answered, and she told me she wanted to leave something on my Voicemail, and not to answer when she called back. What she had to say she couldn't say to me personally, and so she wanted to talk to my voicemail. I agreed, hung up, and let her call back. As the phone rung my mind begin to fill with fear, my heart grew heavy. As the ring ended, I waited, almost like a horse in a race gate, for the sound of my voicemail ring. Then it rang. My fingers went cold and the air stood still. I called my voicemail box, and in the message I could hear her fighting back tears...... and she sang. "I don't wanna close my eyes, i don't wanna fall asleep cuz i miss you baby, and i dont want to miss a thing, cuz even when i dream of you, the sweetist dreams will never do i still miss you baby... and i dont want... to miss a thing....................I Love you" Then she ended the message. I must have replayed that message as many times as there was tears sinking into my pillow. When the phone died and i hadnt the strength to stand up, I got into my pocket and Listend to that song on my MP3 player on repeat for the next 6 hours. When I went to work the next day, she wasn't there, I didn't hear from her for quite awlile. It was almost a gift from God when her father was found out about his plans to run away, and his family kicked him to the curb. Hence lifting the "daughter ban" and bringing me and her together again.
[As stated above, i will write a quick ending to cap the idea i was going for]
Well, we did get back together, as my mom moved out of state i stayed to be with her, we faired quite well for awhile. We ended up being each others
firsts on quite a number of things, including sex. On November 5th I asked her to marry me. It wasnt a sole decition mind you, i was kinda pushed into the situation. she was getting bitchy that we knew we was getting married, but didnt have a ring to show off to family and friends. after our engagment, we got an appartment together, and months later i have discovered two things, 1) that she nolonger wanted to be with me, 2) that she was texting other men on a moble website getting and sending naked photos. I was crushed and heartbroken. so I ended the engagement, the relationship and ultamently the friendship. she returned to get her things in a fit of rage and destroyed the appartment. haha i like to tell in my stand up bit what she took when she went with her, because its rather funny. She took the Silverware, the shower curtain.... and the toilet seat. haha. She left, and then came back to claim partnerd dominion over the appartment, so I left. That is what landed me in the awesome state of Illinois *gag*. whilst I was up in the Land o Lincolin, my stuff sit vunerable in a shed down south. Easily broken into and just as easily destroyed and broken, I owned nothing anymore. I had lost my life in Texas, my Love, and my possetions. For two years my soul, my mental state, and my physical state was trashed. I was a mess.
Love is a Burning Feeling.
Its hot, sournful, and leaves a remarkable, permanate scar. It has been proven to me to be the most powerful emotion. It makes people do the craziest things they normaly hadn't the courage to do before. Once, I had my own living love story... Once....